"Enough"

The ability to be satisfied - even with little - is perhaps one of the greatest advantages you can offer yourself in building your career and life

The Power of “Enough”

In the mid 20th century, two well known American authors, Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller were invited to a private party on Shelter Island, part of the glamourous “Hamptons” neighborhood of New York by a local billionaire.

After surveying the beautiful home, dinner, and collection of wealthy and famous guests, Vonnegut turned to Heller and informed him that he had just learned that their host, a hedge fund manager from New York City, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its entire publication history.

Heller was silent for a moment, and then responded “Yes, but I have something he will never have… enough.”

Thinking back on this experience, Vonnegut later recalled:

“Enough. I was stunned by the simple eloquence of that word—stunned for two reasons: first, because I have been given so much in my own life and, second, because Joseph Heller couldn’t have been more accurate. For a critical element of our society, including many of the wealthiest and most powerful among us, there seems to be no limit today on what enough entails.”

Heller had discovered that there was a limit to how much money, fame, and impact that you needed to be happy. He had decided that rather than constantly chasing the ever elusive “more”, he was content with the books he had written, having a comfortable life, and being surrounded by ideas he thought were interesting and people he cared about.

When I was a young student in business school, I remember listening to a guest lecturer - a prominent local entrepreneur - state with utter confidence that “If you MBAs really want to make something of yourselves, you’re going to have to take big risks, and never stop hustling. Otherwise you will simply end up with a nice home in the suburbs with a Volvo in the garage and a Weber Grill in the back, but never anything more.”

The idea of simply ending up with a common “upper middle class” outcome was portrayed as a failure. And we - as young MBA students - were supposed to be aspiring for so much more than that. I remember coming home that night and telling my wife that I was determined to avoid such a fate. I was going to build a career to be proud of. Something that far outstripped even the comfortable suburban life I had grown up with.

But the last 10 years have changed that perspective.

Before I go any further, I need to state plainly that I think chasing dreams is great, even vital, for our happiness. The worst thing someone could take from this is the notion that mediocrity (not trying your best or fulfilling your potential) is acceptable or laudable. It’s not. Becoming the best versions of ourselves (and not just in our careers) is what I believe to be the core purpose of our lives.

What I want to caution any reader against is the trap that all successful people face: the “paradox of more”

The “Paradox of More”

The big risk that smart / hard-working types face is that they will one day reach their short term goal. You get the job or the promotion. You launch the product. You start the business that used to just be an idea. You get the attractive guy/girl to marry you. You become “guacamole rich”.

At first you just enjoy being at the top of the mountain you set for yourself. You enjoy the win. But then (and always sooner than you’d think) you start wondering about “what’s next”. And before you know it, your achievement doesn’t satisfy you like you thought it would. You can’t help but feel like you need to drive onto the next thing.

Ambition - the thing that drives us to do this - is not a vice when taken in moderation. But when unbridled, it becomes a pit that can never be filled, no matter what we do.

This is the “paradox of more”.

I’ve seen this happen to so many people I know. And I’ve felt it myself.

I once worked with a leader who had been a very successful CEO at several companies beforehand. I eventually learned that he had made over $50M in his career (more money than I could ever fathom having). He had recently taken the job at our company with a generous compensation package and prestigious title. He regularly told us that “he didn’t need to do this for the money, but was doing it because he loved work”.

At first I thought that was inspiring, even laudable. But over time I started to wonder why he was even working more, especially once things got tough and he seemed to be both stressed and miserable. I couldn’t help thinking how if I were in his shoes I would have simply retired years ago, enjoyed life more, and only done work I enjoyed on my terms and timetable - not something that required the immense amounts of stress his job did.

Part of me understands that what likely got him to the point he did was that drive to keep pushing. I respect that drive deeply. However, that same drive seemed to be the very thing that kept him from being satisfied with what he had achieved.

As a far less dramatic example: I have a good friend who privately confessed that he regrets taking a recent promotion to a manager level at work that offered more pay and “prestige” and was actually much happier/fulfilled in his former individual contributor (IC) role.

Ambition (and the drive it creates in us) can be a very dangerous two-edged attribute.

Finding our own “Shade Tree”

There is great joy in actually pulling back a little bit to simply enjoy the fruits of our labors instead of always pushing for the next thing.

I love the scene in the hit musical “Hamilton” when George Washington is being implored to run for a 3rd presidential term (something he could have easily won). But instead he declines. Partly because he wanted the nation to move on without needing him always at the helm, but also partly because he wanted to escape the paradox of more. He says (beautifully):

Like the scripture says:

“Everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree

And no one shall make them afraid”

I wanna sit under my own vine and fig tree

A moment alone in the shade

At home in this nation we’ve made

One last time

— Hamilton (“One Last Time”)

There’s a beauty in that idea that has become increasingly attractive to me the older I’ve gotten.

In business school I dreamt of managing lots of people, building great things, and getting paid lots of money to do so. But now I actually find that my greatest satisfaction isn’t determined by the amount of people in my org or what my title is. Rather - it’s the ability to work on things that I love, with people I enjoy, and then to be able to go home to my family, my hobbies, and take a moment to simply enjoy the life that my wife and I are building together.

As someone once told me: “happiness is the difference between expectations and reality”. Too often we focus on trying to change the “reality” piece of that equation. Perhaps more often we should try to adjust the “expectations” portion.

Because at the end of the day - all that matters is that you have “enough”.